Slow down and tune in for internal pleasure states
The over exerted masculine
If more men slowed down and tuned in during sex, so many more women would be experiencing internal orgasms with them.
It lies in our hands as women- to firstly tune into ourselves, and secondly teach them how to slow down and tune into us.
Believe me, they want us to...
The compounding issue that women have faced is that we have had a pervasive subcultural messaging that women's wants and needs are in some way secondary in importance to a man's, particularly when it comes to the arena of sex and pleasure.
Women, throughout the past couple of thousand years have been taught to ignore and hide our sexuality, creating a lack of personal sense of ownership of our pleasure.
It is not uncommon to hear of women simply "doing it for the man's pleasure, rather than having her own pleasure in mind.
Pornography and a fast paced world have conditioned men to be too quick between the sheets, skimming over the depth and complexity of the woman's energetic presence- instead he is concerned often with carnal desire, seeing and senses the physicality before him, only.
Sex has become a way in which women are subjugated and dominated within the media. Many women, myself included in my younger years- instead of having a sense of sovereignty and personal authority when it came to my body- used my sexuality to get my personal needs for intimacy met- meaning I was coming from a place of lack, looking for something to be fulfilled- (pun not intended.)
Imagine entering this intimate dynamic from a space of fullness? From a space of personal authority?
This is possible but first we have to undo this deeply entrenched conditioning within our bodies, and within many of our genetics-
We ourselves- have to connect with our own sensual energy and pleasure bodies- first.
This is easier for some women, and less so for others.
This depends on the level of traumatic response the cells of your body are holding, and how many layers of energetic contraction and tension there are residing within your subtle field of sensitivity-
Woman is a magnetic portal of sensuality and creation
Furthermore, we have almost zero understanding of feminine magnetic sexuality in our current world view, the best sources of these in my mind come from ancient Tantric, Vedic and Yogic philosophy.
Women's energetic bodies and magnetic fields are much more multi dimensional than that of a man, this in part is accessible through a woman's rich and diverse emotional world; her sensitivity and depth.
If we make love with an open energy field, we activate one another through transmission of vibration, and so really- woman; with her highly magnetic resonance field has the potential to be the container for ascension.
In times past women were known and revered as healers and creative beings, largely because of our capacity to hold a wide and complex energetic frequency.
“Women are worthy of worship. They are the fate of the household, the lamp of enlightenment for all in the household. They bring solace to the family and are an integral part of dharmic life. Even heaven is under the control of women. The gods reside in those households where women are worshipped and in households where women are slighted all efforts at improvement go in vain.”- Manusmriti 3-56
Arriving here and now, claiming back the gateway of the body
The key to all of this is feeling in the NOW.
But the step to getting to the NOW is to firstly to take back all authority over self, and the moment.
What this looks like within the context of sex and pleasure is for women to once and for all trust their own bodies communication. If something doesn't feel right it is necessary for us women to be self sovereign enough to admit that and to redirect the flow and the pace of the union, in a way that is more in alignment with what feels right to her innate sensuality.
No more going along with the act. No more going through the motions of sex, no more doing it for the man,
He really is unguided at this stage and requires the feminine to know her self, her own state of energetic openness, anchoring in the emotional sensitivity that is present in the moment, and residing within that frequency, dropping in fully.
Once we are used to doing this for and with ourselves - it is our duty to teach the men how our bodies respond to pleasure- and begin to decondition their minds from pornography, offering them a conducive way of relating to our sensuality.
Simply by slowing down,
Simply by becoming present and breathing slowly- it is a process of embodiment.
Sometimes pleasure is impeded by layers of tension, trauma or conditioning. In which case- the only way we are able to clear those layers is by being present with them, feeling them.
Slowness and presence in intimacy with a lover presents a window for communication within the relationship, and again- if this is all done with an open energy field (heart) those layers of stagnancy soon melt away and deeper pleasure ensues within the body-
You see the body is always communicating your deeper energetic truth.
Now- there have been many times that I have been with a man who does not respond to my gentle nudges of communication between the sheets to either slow down or connect more cohesively to my own energy, and against my better judgment I have to admit that I have more often than not, failed to persist in communicating my needs- again a throw back of the subjugation of the divine feminine.
This is a cardinal sin in my book. We are in a time of great change and awakening. And something so sacred and life altering as the way we engage with our sexual energy and pleasure really needs to be honoured from now on.
When a woman begins to get to know her own energetic state by slowly and openly connecting with her own layers of emotion and sensitivity, the floodgates of healing and hence deepening of joy and pleasure ensues.
These things were not taught to us as young women, in fact the subconscious conditioning has been quite to the contrary.
Women are magnetic, rich, layered, complex and deeply sensitive- both emotionally and sensually.
The slower we go into ourselves the more depth we are able to perceive.
Our fast paced world speaks of vibrating toys, goal focused interactions and shallow states of pleasure, but crystal sex toys and yoni eggs to not vibrate- hence they initiate a woman to slow down and deepen into herself.
Crystal pleasure is in the first instance healing and ultimately; when used with presence, and circulation of the breath- rewires the erotic body for deeper states of ecstasy.