I keep hearing of women turning to the yoni egg practice in the pursuit of a tight and toned pussy, in the hopes that a strong pelvic floor equals more sensitivity and better orgasms.
And while this can definitely be true for women who need vaginal tightening, for example those women who lack toning (perhaps as a result of giving childbirth) there is a really big caveat that keeps getting missed...
While the yoni egg provides the all important element of resistance for women doing Kegel exercises, in order to tighten their pelvic floor, the yoni egg also and equally can help all the other women on the other end of the spectrum...those of us with too much tension down there.
In fact a tight and toned pussy doesn't always equal more sensitivity- very often, a tight pussy is in fact a tense pussy.
You see your vagina will always reflect how you are feeling, at all times.
In and out of the bedroom- without fail.
Her responses are fool proof.
And she never, ever lies.
If you are relaxed, she will be relaxed and pliant, with a little give- this is also when we have more sensitivity.
If you are tense, she will be tight...and you will have less sensitivity.
So what else dictates my level of pleasure?
Now there are a few variables that can contribute to how your vagina behaves and responds during sex or self pleasure. These are:
1. How much tension you have built up in your psyche and your body- this tension can, and often is built up over time from negative conditioning, sexual shaming, trauma or mistreatment.
2. How relaxed you are in the moment; how comfortable you are with your partner, how free you feel to be, and to express your self with authenticity- again this is essentially down to how tense you are.
3. The energetic/ emotional dynamic between you and your partner. I always argue that we are all very intuitive, yet sometimes we don't even know that we are picking up on the feelings of others. Particularly during sex.
Have you noticed that you can have very different sexual experiences from partner to partner? Or even from day to day?
Your receptivity to the energy flow/ emotional flow during love making can actually differ greatly depending on how open you and your partner are to each other's energy/ emotions, as well as how relaxed and open, or tense and closed you may be feeling on any given day.
By the same token, if your man enters you only with his penis, and not his presence, it is unlikely that you will feel the earth move...but that is another blog post altogether.
The link between tension and energy flow
Essentially the first two points above, both come down to how much tension you have stored in your body, and your sexual psyche.
And let's not forget that when we have tension we have an energy block, in other words- the natural energy flow within the body has become impeded.
Energy (within the context of the human body we can call it emotion) always wants to move, and it can and often does get stuck in the body, which translates as tension, lack of sensitivity, numbness or illness.
Many women (and some men) have stored tension in their bodies. Sex and sensual pleasure has been demonised in our civilisation, and hence many of us hold on to residual tension as a result of this.
This is why I feel that it can be quite damaging for women to be told that the key to better orgasms, and that the purpose of the yoni egg practice is to achieve a tight pelvic floor, because tight is very often tense.
I have always had an "incredibly strong pelvic floor" as once said by a gynaecologist, and yet I haven't always had the ability to have deeper, internal orgasms. In fact for many years when I was younger I lacked a lot of sensitivity.
If you think back to the best sex you've ever had in your life, those times that you can feel everyyyything, and that your internal vagina is singing a sweet, sweet tune- I guarantee that your vaginal walls were soft, pliant and yielding.
Everything is about energy flow. Your physical body is always either in a state of being relaxed and open or tense and closed, to the flow of energy.
And guess what energy flow equates to?
Yep, you guessed it. Sensitivity
The yoni egg helps to release tension and energy blocks within your pelvic region. Crystals are known to facilitate the movement of energy, which is why they are used in quartz watches.
By providing a gentle internal massage while wearing either for shorter periods in your day, or for longer times, the yoni egg will help encourage extra blood flow, nutrients and oxygen and hence resensitise your internal walls.